Wednesday, June 3, 2020

I'm Alive + A Proverbs 31 Parody!

Hello Readers!

I must apologize for falling off the face of the earth once again. Though I'll admit, it was fun and I have wonderful excuses that I won't bore you with.

So what happened since I last posted? Anything exciting?

(Feel free to skip over the following ramble.)
I am now a legal adult. Wow. It's really strange to think that now I can do things I couldn't before. I don't legally have to ask my parents to do things, but I still will ask them. Why? You might ask. Well, in short, being a legal adult doesn't mean I know everything. (And neither do my parents) But, my Momma and Daddy are very wise and care about me, they also have many more years of experience than I do. Anyway, enough on that.

The next question you're probably thinking is: What did you do for your 18th birthday?
Well, of course, being the responsible adult that I am now, I did the responsible adult thing to do. I pulled my first all-nighter. Yep, do I regret it? Nope. Would I do it again? Probably. Should I do it again? Probably not.

The next question is, what did I do all night?
I watched my favorite TV show, Sue Thomas F.B.Eye, and seriously if you haven't watched it yet, go do it now! It's amazing and funny and engaging. The characters are so memorable I love all of them. We also sprayed silly string at each other and ate too many Jelly Beans (technically they were the flop kind). 

Alright, enough about me. 

On Sunday my family read Proverbs 31. Two reasons, (sorta) 

1) 22 Years ago Daddy asked Momma out for their first date! 
2) It was the 31st of May, and we've been reading a Proverb a day. (This is the real reason, it just happen to be May 31)
So why do you need to know that? 
1) I love Proverbs 31. 
2) I parodied it. My first parody ever. And I'm quite proud of it if I do say so myself. And yes, you get to read it. 

Proverbs 31:10-31 
Who can find a valiant writer, for her writing is like rubies.
The heart of her readers doth safely trust in her, so they need not worry for their favorite characters.
She will write good and not bad all the days of her life.
She seeketh beta readers and editors all the days of her life; she worketh well with them.
She is like a dragon-slaying warrior, for she knoweth how to write it.
She is writeth all night, drinking coffee and tea, she doeth not sleep.
She considers an idea and writes it: with her fingers she typeth furiously.
She girdeth hands with gloves: she strengtheneth her fingers for NaNoWriMo.
She percieveth that her idea is good: she plans it by candle light.
She putteth her fingers to the keyboard, her hands hold a mug.
She strecheth forth her hand to the blog; yea, she reacheth forth towards the Facebook page.
She is not afraid of dragons: for she knoweth how to write them well.
She maketh friends for herself; they are definitely real. (She doesn’t care if you think otherwise.)
Her family is known in the real world, they have to do real life for her.
She maketh fine stories and selleth them; she delivereth them to book stores.
Swords and keyboards are her essentials; and she shall ride dragons in time to come.
She writeth with wisdom; and in her books are great adventures.
She looketh well to the ways of her characters, and tryeth not to get them killed.
Her characters arise up, and call her blessed; her readers also, and they praiseth her.
Many writers have done valiantly, but thou excellest them all.
Antagonists should be well-crafted, and Protagonists should be well written: but a writer that writeth them both well, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her writing; and let her readers praise her in the comments.

I hope ya'll enjoyed that. It was so much fun to write!


Mattie May

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